OBTUSE! The Journey Has A Name! Recap

OBTUSE! The Journey Has A Name!

3Q: Welcome ladies and gentlemen to OBTUSE! The Journey Has A Name! Tonight's main event is a match that FLEX fans have wanted to see... well, fan... anyways, the battle between Ghetto Ninja and El Diablo Estupido for the Grand Champion Of Intense Combat championship. And we are going to hear from the champion right now.

DE: Ghetto Ninja, you can pop and lock and bounce around like a drunken rabbit in your car, but you will find out that I can in fact touch this. You may be ice, ice, baby, but I've got more Molotov cocktails than a Russian New Year's party. And all the little Diabolists out there, the kids who go to school and pray to Satan every day, know that their role model and hero will retain his title. HAIL SATAN!

3Q: ...Anyways. El Incompetente is going to face the mysterious former Kabuki actor turned martial artist turned wrestler, Senor Bushido. Let's go to the action!



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Incompetente X <7:56- Knees to the Face> Bushido O

3Q: Ouch, Senor Bushido may have broken El Incompetente's nose. However, El Incompetente is raising his arms in victory, as if he won the match... BLADE OF DEMISE! (Screw High Kick) Bushido absolutely knocked Senor Bushido out with that kick! Well coming up next is the first ever CHAN! CHAN! BATTLE OF JUSTICE! Match. Falls count anywhere, no rope breaks, but you can still be disqualified! The winner of this match gets a prestigous prize: A free order of Flanigan's Rib Rolls! They're riberrific!





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Elimination 1:
Super Hockey O <24:48- Canadian Hammer> El Phantom X
Elimination 2:
Spud O <25:32- Half Baked Suplex> Super Hockey X
Elimination 3:
Geisha Man O <26:25- Falcon Arrow> Spud X

3Q: Well we're going to talk to Spud about that result. Spud, how do you feel about losing to the "Lovely Flower of Japan", Geisha Man?

Spud: ...Name's Spud.

3Q: ...I know. Your thoughts on the match?

Spud: ...Got a stick.

3Q: ...Well, you just missed out on a free order of Rib Rolls, you're not upset about that?

Spud: I heard Geisha Man was one of them whatdayacallems...

3Q: Vegetarians?

Spud: No. Lesbians.

3Q: ...Geisha Man is a guy, Spud.

Spud: But isn't a Lesbian one of them people from that country with dem ninjas?

3Q: No, you're thinking of Japan... he is Japanese though, but why wouldn't he want to eat Rib Rolls because of that?

Spud: ...I'll ask Jeeves.

3Q: ...Okay... our next match is for the Master of the Way of Destruction Openweight Eurocoretinental-X Championship Crown. The champion, Ozzy DaBoe... now apparently a four time champion, as he lost and won it from both a gumball machine and a Kermit The Frog plush doll, against Grampa Luchador. Grampa Luchador has told me that he thinks Ozzy DaBoe is a glorified stuntman like "That Lou Thesz Guy". Let's go to the action.



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Luchador X <14:59- Sobat> DaBoe O

3Q: And as Grampa Luchador is leaving the ring and yelling about "flippy dippy moves", Ozzy takes the mic.

ODB: HELLO CLEVELAND! There are some people who want me to go for the Grand Champion of Intense Combat title, and there are some people who feel like a nut, and there are some people who don't. I say to them: Banana Sliced Corndogs. I will continue to defend my MOTWODOEXCC title, against any man, woman, or anthromorphic rabbit in the world! IF YOU SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL! WHAT I! JUST FARTED!

3Q: Anyways, our tag team attraction, the vile but tasty Los Comidas face off against El Burro Gordo and Futura Knight.





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Taco Mask O/Burrito Mask <27:51- Powerbomb> Burro X/Futura

3Q: THE RING JUST SHOOK! The 300 pound El Burro Gordo tried for a rana but got powerbombed by Taco Mask! Futura Knight is now yelling about how "Sarah did it". As the Comidas leave the ring, we get ready for Ghetto Ninja's entrance, to THE MOST GANGSTA BEAT EVER!



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Ninja X <15:41- Springboard Hurricanrana> Estupido O

3Q: And the champion retains! Ghetto Ninja is none too happy with that, but all the fans are celebrating as the Satanic Role Model keeps the title! That's all the time we have for today, folks, we now bring you to "Late Night Monster Theatre".