Fighting League EXtreme Inaugural Event!

3Q "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Fighting League EXtreme! Today we have four exciting contests, including a match for the Grand Champion of Intense Combat Title, Diablo Estupido facing off against Grampa Luchador. I'm Quentin Q. Quentinstein, and Bob the Intern is in the back with Grampa Luchador"

BtI: "I'm here with Grampa Luchador who has some words for his oppnent toni-"
GL: "Shut your mouth you whipper-snapper! Back in my day, we didn't have any pay-per view matches, or entrance music. No, we came out from the curtains and walking FIFTEEN MILES THROUGH THE SNOW UPHILL BOTH WAYS to the ring! I'm gonna beat some sense into Diablo Estupido. He's all floppin and flying. He's a glorified stuntman. Like Ricky Steamboat!"
::Grampa Luchador walks away::
3Q: Next up, El Phantom takes on Ozzy DaBoe. El Phantom has been haunting the FLEX arena ever since he was caught in a pyro misfire. Now he lives under the ring, supposedly because he lost the lease to his apartment. Ozzy DaBoe, Mr. Sushi and Rice, is the most bizarre man in wrestling. How did he get that nickname, you ask? Well, he once wrestled an entire match while eating his dinner, then after he was done, he hit his opponent over the head with the bowl and pinned him. I asked Ozzy about El Phantom, and he said that El Phantom's power level was over nine thousand. I don't know what that means, and I don't know if even he does, but we'll see if he can use that to his advantage.



3Q: "Well Ozzy DaBoe got a great win over El Phantom with an STF, despite El Phantom putting up a good fight and using that Opera Uppercut (Step Jigoku-zuki) and we're going to have a word with Ghetto Ninja."
GN: "Yo yo yo yo yo Q-Snizzle! Ghetto Ninja is in da HOUSE-AH! I be bustin out phat shin-o-be moves on that fat sucka, Mr El Burro Gordo, and I'm gonna be riding ma Ninja Pimpmobile all over this pliz-ace! Peace and Bacon Grease, sucka!"
3Q: I have no idea what he just said, but Los Comidas are in the ring against Super Hockey and Senor Bushido!




3Q: That match was absolutely down to the wire, folks. Taco Mask and Burrito Mask seemed close to losing at times, but those dastardly tortilla-wrapped Comidas managed to hold out for the full thirty minuites. Still, you got to give credit to Super Hockey and Senor Bushido, despite the fact that they made a lot of baffling mistakes like trying to pin the illegal man. I guess when you're a former pee-wee hockey player or a kabuki-painted martial artist you tend to get confused, and can you blame them? It's hard to tell those Comidas apart. Coming up next is El Burro Gordo and Ghetto Ninja. El Burro has been preparing for this match all day long. Well, at least that's what he told me. It looked more like he was eating a giant bowl of Wolf Chili. Of course if I was Ghetto Ninja I wouldn't want to fight a flatulent luchador.



3Q: And that sneaky ninja from the mean streets of Compton managed to choke out El Burro Gordo with a Takedown Katahajime. El Burro seemed to be doing very well until he ran out of breath, and was busy eating donuts for energy. And now, a word with the man who won the opening match tonight, Ozzy DaBoe.
::Cut to Ozzy DaBoe who was wearing a green gi and his purple hair spiked out to look like Goku's::
OD: Haha! I say Ghetto Ninja's kung-fu is foolish, and he can't even shoot laser beams out of his hands! At the next show, I plan to Shiggity his Shiggity-sha, and you know why? Because I'm CAPTAAAAAAAAIN PLAAAAAAAAAAANET! Protect the enviroment, or I'll send your dirt to the land of wind and ghosts!
3Q: Uh. Huh. Well ladies and gentlemen, well I should say gentlemen... well, gentleman, because I just got word from our producers that we have only one person actually watching this at this point. Our main event, for the Grand Champion of Intense Combat Title, we've got the man who hates everyone and anything under the age of 75, the cootiest coot of them all Grampa Luchador against the Satanic Role Model For Kids Everywhere, Diablo Estupido!



3Q: And there we have it! Diablo Estupido pulls it off with the Beelzulbub Driver II! It seemed to be it when Grampa Luchador was locking in that Spinning Toe Hold, but Estupido was able to get back at him. What a great matchup. Well that's all the time we have, we have to take down the set so the local lacrosse team can practice, next show will feature even more insanity here at Fighting League EXtreme headquarters.